Thursday, May 6, 2010

Brewing a New Hobby

You need a hobby, people are always saying.

Well, I've got a few, but the latest can seem more like a stressful part-time job. I've taken up home brewing.

The skeptic might wonder: What's stressful about making your own alcohol that you can consume whenever you want? Making beer, the naive optimist might say, is almost as good as making whoopee.

Well, unless you're on your first date or tying to score with a cheerleader who is way out of your league, it turns out making beer is much harder than having sex.

For one thing, you can get a little dirty when performing the latter. In fact, in some circles, it's required. But making beer requires a hallowed kitchen, an exorcism of every germ and bacteria within a mile radius. This is because any contamination of the beer can taint the taste. Or worse, make the entire batch moldy and useless.

I've also learned that something can go uniquely wrong each time you brew. The first time it took me an hour or more to cool the wort -- something that needs to be done quickly to avoid contamination. So, I bought the expensive, copper wort chiller. Check.

Another batch required me to throw handfuls of hops into the boiling wort every five minutes. Fine. No problem. No one tells you that's going to create a straining disaster as the hop residue coats the strainer like chia pet ground cover. Our faucet leaks more water than what was coming through the strainer. And, of course, I forgot to sanitize the backup strainer. Contamination!

Surprisingly, these mishaps didn't screw up the beer. In fact, the beer actually tastes like beer. Though at my current rate of equipment and ingredient purchase, I figure this hobby will start saving me money on actual beer purchases about the time the ozone hole over Antarctica heals.

But I guess hobbies were never meant to save money. As someone once said, "Relax and have a homebrew."














My first beer label for the Baker Brown Ale.